Today’s Topic: Invest In Your Relationship - Couples AND Singles
seldom improve from neglect.
~ Eve Eschner Hogan
and I recently attended a weekend workshop for couples called The
Art of Cherishment, led by Hedy and Yumi Schleifer. Hedy is an Imago
Therapist, married to her husband Yumi for over 40 years. They have
devoted this stage of their life and marriage to facilitating experiences
of deep connection for couples all over the world. (For those who’d
like to know more about their work see www.hedyyumi.org.)
a profoundly moving weekend for us. It was inspiring to be in a room
full of couples who were there with the unified purpose of strengthening
and enhancing their relationship – and who were committed to
investing their time and resources to that end.
With all of the turbulence in the financial world these days, it strikes
me that investing in your relationship is one of the best investments
you can make. Through the ups and downs of life, work, raising families,
health challenges and so on, our primary relationship can be a source
of support, love, joy and shared difference-making.
A solid partnership has economic benefits too. There is a synergy
that is created when two people align their goals and dreams and support
each other in achieving them. This synergy can produce wealth ---
emotionally AND financially.
we invest in our relationship, love and intimacy continues to
deepen and grow.
book How To Love Your Marriage, Eve Eschner Hogan asks: “How
would our marriages be different if we entered them with the intention
of continuously growing the love we share with our spouse
– rather than just honoring a love that already exists or once
know that if we expect our bodies to be healthy and vibrant we need
to feed them well, get enough sleep and give ourselves nurturing exercise.
Many of us devote hours each week to ensure that our bodies are fit
and well. And if we don’t, we know we ought to. It’s not
enough to reminisce about how fit we used to be!
Our relationship needs caring for too. As anyone with a good relationship
can tell you -- a satisfying partnership doesn’t just “happen”.
It may seem so, in the beginning of a relationship when the love hormones
are flowing freely. However, once the “romantic stage”
passes into a more stable and less exhilarating form of love, we need
to learn how to feed and renew our love on an ongoing basis.
How you choose to care for and protect your relationship is a personal
matter – as is how you choose to care for your body. Workshops
such as the one my husband and I attended may not be everyone’s
cup of tea. However the options are infinite!
It’s up to YOU to decide what investments will pay off
for you and your partner.
provide us with the opportunity (and necessity!) to stretch and grow
in new ways of being – with ourselves and with our partner.
When our relationship feels boring or unsatisfying, perhaps we are
being called to new growth and discovery. We may need to be creative
and willing to experiment.
short on ideas for investing in your relationship, you can always
canvas those individuals whose relationships you admire, to find out
what has worked for them. What is important is to make the conscious
commitment to invest in your relationship – and then follow
through with actions – both big and small.
Investing in your relationship isn’t just for couples.
single readers who long to be in a relationship, you too can make
an investment. You can invest by clarifying your values, your vision
for your life and your “relationship requirements” –
those non-negotiable deal-breakers that you must have for a relationship
to work for you. Once you are clear about your vision for your life
and your requirements, you’ll be better able to make wise choices
about how and with whom you invest your dating energy.
are single or divorced, you can also invest in your future relationship
by clearing the way for it. This might involve healing past hurts,
learning more effective relationship skills or learning how to love
and respect YOURSELF in new ways. You can lay the foundation today
for the relationship you hope for tomorrow.
in a couple, ask yourself: How could I invest in my relationship today?
With a warm hug?
• With a surprise gift?
• With a word of appreciation?
• With my undivided attention and interest?
• With an act of service?
how your partner likes to receive love. Then take action!
single or divorced, ask yourself: How can I invest in my future relationship
By getting clear on my requirements?
• By improving my communication skills?
• By taking care of my health?
• By getting my finances in order?
• If you’re unsure what you can do, reply to this email
and I will send you a complimentary Relationship Readiness Review.
This will help you pinpoint the areas that need work, in preparation
for your next relationship.
Vollett, Life and Relationship Coach, delights in working with pro-active
individuals who want to make positive changes in their lives, their
work/business or their relationships. Her clients appreciate her ability
to listen deeply, her compassionate wisdom and her support in moving
forward. Shirley offers a complimentary intro session for those who
want to explore how coaching works and how it can help. Click on a
link below to contact Shirley or visit her website at http://shirley.vollett.com
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© 2008 by Shirley Vollett. All rights reserved.