for today: The Power of Appreciation
friends and colleagues,
to the first issue of Fulfilling Relationships!
After some years of writing a newsletter for singles, I am excited
to widen the focus of my writing to the broader spectrum of CULTIVATING
fulfilling relationships. I hope this newsletter will provide something
meaningful for anyone who is committed to the quality of their relationships.
we are single, coupled or somewhere in-between, having loving and
supportive relationships is high on the priority list for most of
us. I have spent much of my personal and professional life engaged
in discovering what it takes to have relationships work. In my travels
I have come across some wonderful teachers, resources and “gems
of wisdom”. Through this newsletter I hope to share some of
that collected wisdom with you.
your feed-back and comments and I invite you to forward this newsletter
to others who might also enjoy it. If you don’t wish to receive
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Life & Relationship Coach
recently reminded of this when my husband returned (exhausted) from
a business trip. After a hot shower to unwind, he was just settling
into bed with a good book, when I reminded him that he’d left
his wet towel on the bathroom floor, AGAIN.
Need I say this
was not well received?
After an increasingly heated exchange, it became clear to me that
we were both suffering from a lack of appreciation. After managing
the home front in his absence, I felt unappreciated for all the invisible
housework and pick-up I do for others. After a challenging trip away,
he felt unappreciated for the work he does to provide for the family.
Being the better rested one that evening, I was able to take a step
back and realize that my timing was not the best! Looking at the big
picture, I decided that the wet towel was not where I wanted to put
this to my husband and then took a moment to express my appreciation
to him, for his commitment and hard work in support of our family.
By expressing my appreciation, our connection was re-established and
the tone of our conversation shifted positively. I experienced how
appreciation can “bounce back” energetically, to the one
who gives it
we are appreciated by another we feel valued, known and nourished
in a very profound way.
similar to physical exercise, we can get out-of-shape and out-of-practice
when it comes to expressing appreciation. We may get lazy about generating
positive energy, and start to want others to appreciate us FIRST.
are 4 reasons why it’s worth keeping your “appreciation
muscle” in good condition:
Appreciation benefits the giver.
appreciation is an anti-dote to taking our loved ones for granted.
Giving appreciation can help us re-experience just how much we value
and love the people in our lives. When sincerely given, appreciation
isn’t a “concept”. It is an “experience”
of another’s greatness. When we express our appreciation for
the qualities of another person, those qualities are highlighted and
we enjoy and love that person in a more tangible way.
Appreciation benefits the receiver.
shining a spotlight on an object, appreciation highlights something
wonderful about that person and they shine even more brightly for
having been noticed and seen. When we give appreciation, we are giving
another food for their soul. With nourishment, they will continue
to grow and flourish. Nowhere is this more evident than when we affirm
the strengths and gifts of children. However it applies to adults
too. Our words of affirmation empower others to live their light fully.
Isn’t that what we want for others, especially our loved ones?
Appreciation is contagious and attractive.
you ever noticed that when someone pays you a compliment, you naturally
want to give a compliment back to them? One appreciation leads to
another and before long you are both feeling extremely grateful for
your lives and each other. When appreciations are flowing, it becomes
a regular love fest! This positive energy cannot help but flow out
to others and to attract more to itself. What you focus on GROWS.
Appreciation can powerfully shift your perspective.
others can shift our perspective from one of lack, to one of abundance.
When we focus on what we are receiving, we are much less likely to
see ourselves as a victim or as someone lacking in love. We begin
to notice all the gifts we receive from others. This results in an
expanded experience of gratitude and fulfillment in our relationships
and our lives.
you focus on appreciating others, you will find that you notice more
of the positive’s in your relationships. When you appreciate
the good in others and in your life, it will grow and attract more
of the good to you.