Issue #2 |December 2007

Today’s Topic: Relationship Tips for the Holidays

Seasons Greetings friends!

Christmas can be both wonderful and stressful. So here are 4 quick tips for keeping you and your relationships on an even keel during the holiday season.

1. Adjust your expectations.
In particular, ferret out those expectations regarding people and things you can’t control. Disappointments abound when we try to orchestrate how others will think, feel and behave. For example:
• Expecting your spouse/child/friend to LOVE their gift and express their gratitude in a particular way.
• Expecting that everyone in the family will treat each other lovingly every moment.
• Expecting your house/the dinner/the decorations/the company to be “perfect”.
Notice your expectations and decide if they are helping or hindering you from enjoying the season and your relationships. If they’re not, let them go.

2. Take responsibility for your feelings.
You know this one! No one can MAKE you feel loved, peaceful, happy, angry or frustrated this Christmas. Others may be a trigger for your feelings, however they didn’t cause them and are not to blame. Decide how you want to “be” this Christmas (no matter what) and take responsibility for authoring your own experience.

3. Make requests. Make requests. Make requests.
Don’t be a martyr (the one doing it all and resenting it) or a victim (the one feeling blamed by the martyr and resenting it). Ask for help when you need it. Ask for a break when you need it. Don’t expect others to read your mind regarding your needs. And remember: a request can be accepted, declined or negotiated.

4. Count your blessings.
If you’re not feeling in the Christmas mood, sit down and make a list of everything and everyone you have to be thankful for. By the time you’ve finished, it won’t matter what happens next – you’ll already be experiencing Christmas.

I wish you all joy, peace, love and play!

Shirley Vollett, BSW PCC
Life & Relationship Coach

Shirley Vollett, Life and Relationship Coach, delights in working with pro-active individuals who want to make positive changes in their lives, their work/business or their relationships. Her clients appreciate her ability to listen deeply, her compassionate wisdom and her support in moving forward. Shirley offers a complimentary intro session for those who want to explore how coaching works and how it can help. Click on a link below to contact Shirley or visit her website at

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Copyright © 2007 by Shirley Vollett.
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